Daves Greatest Hits- Highlights from a journal

 

OK, person or persons who may actually have viewed the entirety of the web, and have ended up here. The below is a direct copy and paste of some of my longlived, long abandoned journal. Turns out I only write when Im depressed.  Life has been good. The below is complete shit. Yes, (sic) applies – I write these as fast as possible to keep up with my random thought patterns. Enjoy – as you can see, I did not.

~d

 

 

this is to begin a new era in my longlived journal writings. one that will prove, i hope more le
arned than the ones of the paast, taking into account, as should life, my experiences

. i wish i could be a workaholic, but im not. just a fucking speedfreak.
nothing really has changed but who, what where when and why. I learned that in english class. I guess thats everything, isnt it. never mind. jesus, im tired.

someone knowd the secret and there not telling.

getting close to christmas. kinda bummed that i have no money to get presents, so i hope i dont get any.

. gotta do it to attain autonomy. i believe maslow though highly of it also.
\
in my sights currently, i have many goals, none of which arer getting accomplished

fixing shit sounds like a good way to spend time. better than flipping pancakes.
ace is spun and les dosent understand. who could understand that crap. I could i guess,
only took a year or so to be qualified to make the caqll. jpoor guy. hell lose a lot. I predict thatright now .
that shit dont take no prisonors. well, im outee, gonna go to terminal…bye….

(1994)
. left some email across the country, and feel pretty good. I think ill keep that up. you never know who youll meet.
 i gotta call omni, for they sponsor the intl. email thing. any way, turning to other events in my life…….there are none

 need another outlet tho. computers 24-7 isnt healthy, and i need to get laid.
and i did make a phone list, so im doing better.

 

 

 

 
. not much else, so I’ll sign of now. oh wait. im about to meet someone from the boards. michelle coburn, and im sure shes a fat pig.

. just bought this 286 today. its twice as fast,

. just a boring memory wasting account of my life, so i dont forget the details, which is all life is, a bunch of details
……work is going better, the waitresses are good. I want to try a few of them

got the faster 286 up and running, thanx to 30+ hours of work, and am planning yet another upgrade, but using the same box.
 this machine will probly handle it well. got a great recipe database tonight, and stuff like that makes all the downloading time worth it. crx thinx im a dick. thats ok, sounds like a priss bitch anyway.

. i am very comfused right now. but I must stop that or I will be old and confused

and soon i will be surfing the net. oh my god i said surf the net. its all over for me now.

. Im lonely, and could cry at any time. that would do no good.

I would like to note at this time. I noticed this is phoenix, when I got the appleworx program running. In the early days of the journal, the first days, I was hurting from what speed took from me,
 struggling to get out, and finally saying at the end of the entries, written from the halfway house, that “this is to begin a new era in my journal writings” I read this, spun , in phoenix, and laughed.
It showed me everything there is to know about the addiction. same shit. same bullshit, and that s how my next entry started. doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity, yet I do it.

wrote to dad a few times. got to keep that up. show him Im not insane. its important, for some reason

. right now the concepts I am dealing with, formost in my mind, as good journal ettiquete demands me to record, are a 100 meg hard drive, which I believe should take me to the next millenium
. god life sucks. hate it I want to die now.fuck fuck fuck fuck fish sihshslsdkfja;wlituq[wfo
fuck thislater.
starting to spend less energy on the computer, i think, and thats probably good. seemed a little unhealthy. I dont know, maybe its a good compulsion..from drugs straight to the computer.
at least I now have something to show for it. you know, as phoenix fades into the past, perspective is supposed to clear, but its not. It makes no senxe, and I look back with anger, confusion, and sadness.
 I was so happy, met sooo many people, and failed so miserably. I dont deserve to live like the addict dog i was. I remember my apartment, how nice it was, and I turned it into a nightmare.
I never, ever want that to happen again.
 I feel scars from it. let the scars build strengh. I am still alive. fuck them. fuck them. go back and show them what I really am. a trip is emminant.

know what I need to do. notheing can kill me, and if it does, so be it. I could use the rest.
, you also learn alot about yourself when you live with someone. I need to remember, keep conscious of, other people, thier feelings,,,sometimes I forget, and thats not good

Democratic debate

I watched the democratic national debate tonight, and ill admit that it took most of my energy just to be coherent during the entire event, but i did it. Here are my thoughts.

I have been depressed every since I watched Geroge dublu buschh get the white house in the first place. Suffered through 4 years of lunacy. then, I was catapulted into utter shock as the stupidest people that have ever stolen breath had the nerve to elect him again.

Now the country is screwed. mortgaged its wealth to the oil interests and china. even the war was a political move, and a lie. but the american people are only a little miffed. ugh.

Well, tonight was the first time in 7 years I was proud to be an American again. I saw a black guy and and a white broad duking it out to be the commander in chief of the USA. Pretty cool stuff. Fortunately or Unfortunately, Old ass white guy John McCain will most likely be the next president, but its certainly better times for us, because nothing could be worse than the embarassment that gorg dublya bushch was. he lied to us, he kept senate hearings from us, he actually was able to get bills past that raped the constitution and the bill of rights. the american people allowed this. Its been a horrible 7 years with this retard at the helm.

BUT, tonight was nice. it was an example of how our democratic process works. It almost made me forget the dark 7 years previous to this. there will come a time when jeeorge duuuuhblu busccch will be forgotten, but it will be when his ignorance has been paid in full, on the backs of us, our children and our grandchildren. I just hope that they will be better stewards than we were, and never elect some dumbass as president. this WILL leave a mark.

Divine Uninspiration

Whats going on? Elections should be number one – Its my first topic, and I have a feeling it will explode into being the only topic.

Its a perfect time for elections. The country is absolutely fucked, and we have 8 years of utter retardation-management to thank for it. We have the ignorant American public to thank ultimately, I suppose.  To the shortsighted, Limbaugh/Hannity following troglodytic lemmings, I give you the credit for the general demise of the western civilization, and the planet itself. 

You somehow are able to disagree with 99.99% of science, and call global warming a trick by the “Libs” Unbelievable.

You honestly believe Jesus Fucking Christ and his  Dad invented the planet a few (2?) thousand years ago. Well, ok, we invented rope, now go hang your pathetic ass. We dont need your weakness, only your corpse. Take your Z88.3 bumper stickers with you. You dont see “thankfull athiest” on my car, do you asshole? Drive off a cliff, see if jesus saves you then. While your at it, give him a high five for childhood cancer. Jesus. What a dick. No lightening strike. Amazing.

to the “fiscal” republican – thanks for trading the future of the planet for a few extra bucks in your ever growing stock portfolio. You are no different than 3 year olds fighting over a toy truck on the playground. Thank God, big business is more profitable than ever. I guess we can also thank God for the thousands of homeless in the ever shrinking middle class, as record profits from price hiking have kicked moderate earners into camps, hotels, parks, etc. 

Dont get me wrong, George Double u Bush has done a great job! We went from a 5.x billion surpluss, to a 5.x trillion deficit. Gas has never been higher, grocery prices have exploded, inflation is up, we are stuck in another VietNam, unemployment is as high as when Reagan took office. The upper class will not feel the pinch from the impending recession – thats a big part of the reason they do things to bring it on, support bush, and turn a smug eye to the other 93% of the population that is struggling due to their irresponsible fiscal habits and uneducated votes.

Lets play a game. Give me ANY facet of Government – It can be proven that its declined in the last 8 years. And nobody is angry. If your not angry, your NOT paying attention, and Its a pretty good bet that your not voting. that chore is left to the executives padding their yacht account, and dreaming of a 18 wheeler SUV.

And the fucking evangelicals. Dont even get me started about them. Its like slapping a retard – not good sport, and they have enough problems already.  

Its a fun game. Way to go, America. There are millions of veterans –  dead mostly…that realized they died for a very short sighted American dream. Its dead. Get off  your ass, get angry and do something. At very least vote, or dont bitch.

Motivation by a speeding late model Chevy

I work a long way from where I live.  Unfortunately there is no highway, biway, turnpike or fast moving, seldom-used toll road to take. I am forced down the gullet of the most horrified-urbanified cracked-asphalt misery known to Orlando, Florida residents as the dreaded SR436. Stretching with a marked turn to the south from normal to Latin America-rico.

Dont get me wrong – im not necessarily racist – stop it-  this has nothing to do with that, but the signs do turn Spanish, and I can watch as every rim begins to spin, not far after SR 50 – my halfway-there marker and Border checkpoint.  haha. never mind.

This has nothing to do with what Im writing about, or much to do with what I care about;  Im just trying to give you a sense of place as I try to express the meaning of this – most of which will be dilluted in the murky waters of ill chosen words and ADD inspired ramblings of sidetracked illusions. Now where was I?

*Ah-hem*  Therefore… I spend an inordinate amount of time on this road. I listen to stale music on the big FM, even staler music from some recording/playback device or another,  newstalk radio, and then finally my own thoughts. The latter being the most destructive and in dire need of a format change. Because it is devoid of volume control, its always there, willing to make a horrible suggestion, turn a golden palace into a pile of rubble.

God being a cruel and punishing GodThis morning was no exception.  As I was pondering something or other, I noticed an unremarkable beige Chevy fly by my position, dodging and darting in a violent and energy consuming manner. I had a long way to go, and I dismissed him as I often do in my compassionate manner – “What an asshole.”

I could be wrong, I suppose, perhaps 1) he had a pregnant woman in the car – water broken and head exposed – clinging to life by a thread; although the nearest hospital was behind him – he could be frantic and lost. 2)Perhaps, and most likely, he ws just so important that he was unable to believe that us plebians would dare block his progress through this lane, down this street, or through his life.

Other thoughts – (not about this,I moved on of course), came and went. About yesterday, which I cant do a  thing about, tomorrow, (which at this time is an abstract concept and again a waste of time.) Idle thoughts about the new mexican restaurant that sprouted up where the IHOP used to be.

Finally I made it to the final turn off  of 436 approaching my palace of employment. Who do I pull up right next to? Yeah, the Brown…ok..beige Chevy. Could this be a tortoise beating a hare story retold?

Am I suggesting that slow and steady wins the race? Perhaps It is a metaphor for the way we are constantly racing through life to get somewhere else, never realizing that the trip is the joy –  not the destination. As this poor, unenlightened individual engaged the steering wheel in a death grip as he craned his head uncomfortably toward the traffic light, as a funny car driver may look at the start lights in a race, I was reminded of all of this. Life is too short, you had better enjoy every moment. Live in day-tight compartments, worry is nothing more than a human nature driven bad habit that needs to be broken, and most importantly – yeah, that guy probably is an asshole.

News and info pertaining to the Colonialpoint neighborhood

News and info pertaining to the Colonialpoint neighborhood

Original Post. First one.

The least self absorbed post currently. they will get worse.